


Five time the Hargreeves siblings fought (and one time they didn't)

by providing_leverage



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Reginald is dead, They're normal, or at least trying to be, slight spoilers for season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25661053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/providing_leverage/pseuds/providing_leverage
Summary: They're just a bunch of normal teens raised by an emotionally abusive paranoid doomsday prepper who died and left their nanny and butler as their guardians.But below all their weirdness, they're siblings and they're sure as hell going to act like it.
Relationships: Allison Hargreaves/Raymond Chesnut, Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, The Hargreeves Family
Comments: 11
Kudos: 338





	Five time the Hargreeves siblings fought (and one time they didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> I spent all if yesterday bingeing season two, all of last night thinking about it, and all of today writing this 
> 
> Spoilers but only in the form of names and relationships

**1.**

Ah, high school. A land of delinquents, chaos, hormones, and secret societies. 

At least, that was what Five had been led to believe high school was like. He’d never been of course, but they’d been watching all the movies and shows they could in preparation of their senior year at Gerard High and their first year in an actual school instead of the Umbrella Academy. 

In celebration, Mom had made them a giant breakfast of all their favorite foods. She’d even eaten it with them, something she’d been doing more and more in the months since Dad’s death. It was still strange to see her there instead of Reginald’s stern and judgy look but they were all slowly getting used to it.

The breakfast had been perfect, pancakes and bacon and fresh juice. There had been just one thing missing, something Five’s research had revealed was absolutely necessary to this first day of high school (and possibly every day from now on): Coffee.

Reginald had despised the stuff, insisting that if they truly needed caffeine, they would drink tea. And perhaps Five could have gone on oblivious to the wonders of coffee for the rest of his life if not for the night they’d snuck out to the diner around the corner in search of doughnuts and he’d encountered the magical elixir for the first time.

Grace believed it would stunt their growth and so that was one of the (few) rules that still stood from their old, Reginald ruled lives. No coffee. Normally not a problem, since Five had mastered the art of sneaking out the window on the second floor and getting his own coffee. 

But today he was on a time limit. The limo taking them to their first day was leaving in- Five checked his watch- three minutes. He couldn’t get to the doughnut shop in time, and once within the limo all coffee access would be cut off.

Luckily, there was a secret source of the elixir in the house itself, and Five knew where it was. And since Pogo was currently pulling the limo around, their butler’s stash was unguarded for a small but perfect window of time.

The basement area that held only the storage rooms and Pogo and Grace’s quarters were empty, but Five kept his steps light anyway as he crept down the hall to Pogo’s room. Being stealthy in his new shoes, too tight pants, and with a full backpack on was a feat. But he was motivated. This had to go perfectly.

Pogo’s room is immaculate, of course. The bed made, the floor spotless, the small kitchenette free of the clutter that the upstairs kitchen was always plagued with (the kitchen was Grace’s space and Grace’s space alone).

Perfect except for one large moronic detail standing there in his stupid green sweater and finferless gloves (it was  _ Augest  _ how could he be  _ cold? _ ), white mug raised to his lips, eyes closed in bliss.

Five takes in the scene, Luther with his steaming cup, the empty pot next to him on the counter. Time seems to slow. “Noooooooo!”

He lunges forward, all animal instinct and no real thought process. Luther’s eyes snap open in surprise and his brother attempts to step back. He’s not fast enough.

Luther is strong, but Five is desperate so the ensuing tug of war is pretty evenly balanced.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I thought that was obvious. Getting my coffee!”

“ _ Your  _ coffee? I was here first. Make your own!”

“Not. Enough. Time. We’re leaving any minute for school, and I need coffee!”

“Well I got here before you so it’s mine. Better luck tomorrow.”

“Unacceptable.” In one last act of a truly desperate man, Five kicks his brother in the knee. Luthor might be stupidly buff from choosing to spend his free hours in the home gym on top of all the hours Reginald already made them log, but he’s still got weak points.

For one glorious moment, Five holds the cup alone. He raises it to his lips, the perfect smell washing over him and he finds peace. The world is finally as it should be.

Until his brother returns the cheap shot and lunges for Five’s knees. He goes down and the cup goes up, arcing over his head. Time seems to slow as they both stop struggling to watch in mute horror. Up, up, up then down with a crash. 

A once white rug, now brown from the coffee. Sharp shards all over. Silence.

Elsewhere in the house, the grand clock that can be heard everywhere but the top levels chimes out a warning. Seven thirty, the time they’d been told to be in the courtyard to load up the limo. 

Luthor and Five’s eyes meet and an understanding passes between them. Tardiness might not result in a stern lecture, public humiliation, and punishment anymore, but making such a mess, especially  _ in Pogo’s room,  _ would still have consequences. 

Luthor might be bigger and stronger, but Five’s small statue had it’s advantages. He was the fastest of the seven Hargreeves children and today that would serve him well. 

“Five, get back here!”

**2.**

They’d met at a hair salon, of all places. Allison had been there to look into the advertisement that they were hiring, because she wanted a job. A lot of teenagers had a job, and she was supposed to be normal now, so it made sense. No matter what Five had said. Or Luthor.

She didn’t want to think about Luthor.

He’d been there to drop his younger sister off for her appointment, entering just as she was stepping out. Anxious about how well she’d done in the interview, Allison hadn’t been as attentive of her surroundings as she normally was.

Like something from a romcom, they’d slammed right into each other. The flyers he’d been holding had gone everywhere. They’d both apologised at the same time, and she’d helped him pick up his flyers. A curious glance at them had revealed a grammatical error Allison had pointed out without really meaning to.

Ray hadn’t been offended like some boys might. He’d smiled and laughed at himself. Complimented her on her sharp eye and then her dress. Asked her to take a walk and pick her brain about better slogans and phrases. Allison had missed her bus but she’d also gotten his phone number so she counted the day as a win.

And now, after two weeks of texting late into the night and under the table in class, they were meeting up again. For a movie.  _ On a date.  _

Ben and Klaus, the only two that she’d told about Ray, help her pick out her outfit. Well, mostly Klaus. Ben just sat on her bed and gave out advice, as if he had any more experience when it came to dating than the rest of them. 

When she and Klaus are finally satisfied with her appearance, Allison slips out their second secret exit, the door in the kitchen that led to the alley with the house dumpster. 

Allison doesnt use the front doors for two reasons. One, she’s still not quite used to being able to just walk out of them any time she wants. And two, she doesn't want anyone else to see her and question why she’s so dressed up. It’s one thirty in the afternoon on a Saturday, so the kitchen is empty. 

Back when their only real exposure to the world came from their nighttime wanderings, the Hargreeves siblings had established a comfort zone of all the places they could walk in about an hour. That included only one theater, which they’d only gone to twice. 

The theater Ray had asked her to meet him at, and the hair salon she now worked at some evenings, was not inside this comfort zone. Instead, Allison takes a bus. 

It’s loud and hot and definitely not her favorite way to travel, but she’s getting used to it. Slowly. And she’s learned to bring a small thing of perfume to apply after getting off.

When Allison walks into the foyer of the movie theater and finds Ray waiting at their agreed upon spot next to the blown up poster of the movie they’d come to see. He glances up and sees her, waves her over.

She can’t help the enormous smile on her face as she practically skips over to him. It only grows when he says “Wow, you look great.”

“Thanks. You too.” He does. Nice jeans, plain blue shirt that looks great against his skin, shiny shoes.

Ray laughs, and gosh it’s still as cute as she remembers. “Thank you, though I can’t take much credit. My sister picked it out.”

This is the part where she should say ‘that’s funny, my brothers helped me pick this out’ but she doesn't. Instead Allison says, “Should we get our tickets?”

“Already did.” He pulls hers from his back pocket and hands it to her. “We’ve got a few minutes until the previews start to get snacks. They’ve got quite the selection and remember, I’m paying.”

They’d already argued over text, several times in fact, over him paying for everything. She’d wanted to at least pay for herself, but Ray had refused to let her, claiming that his momma had raised him right and since he’d asked it was his job to pay. After half an hour she’d ‘given in’ and resolved to reverse pickpocket him later.

Allison has no desire to embarrass herself by eating sloppily (she had some of the best manners in the family but  _ still) _ or spilling stuff all over herself, so it’s on the tip of her tongue to refuse when her eyes drift over Ray’s shoulder and catch on a lone figure leaning against the wall next to the ticket counter. He sees her the same moment she sees him.  _ Crap. _

__ “Actually, could you get me some popcorn while I run to the restroom?”

She waits until Ray happily agrees and disappears into the thin afternoon crowd to make a beeline for her brother.

What were the odds that in the giant city, they would both come to this same theater on this same day and time? Five could probably tell her, if he was also around somewhere. It would be just her luck too.

This was exactly why she’d gone outside their comfort zone, so that she wouldn’t run into any siblings. So much for that brilliant idea. 

“What are you doing here?” Diego asks at the exact same time as her once she’s a few feet away. They engage in a staring contest, which Allison wins. Of course.

Her brother sighs. “I’m on a date, okay. I thought here was far enough from home that no one else would be here.”

“Same. On both accounts. Wait, did you finally man up and ask Patch out?” Diego had been mooning over the girl in his history class since their first week at school but had refused to hold any conversation with her that wasn’t school related despite their encouragements. 

Diego shakes his head. “Uh no. I asked Lila out. Or she asked me. I’m still not sure how this happened, to be honest.”

She follows his line of sight to the giant slushie machines and finally matches the name to the face. “Lila Pitts? You’re on a date with Lila Pitts? But she’s insane!”

How Lila was still attending Gerald High was a mystery to Allison. In the three months since school started the girl had gotten in no less than five fights and spent half her afternoons and lunches in detention. Then again, Diego wasn’t that much better. They’d probably bonded in the counselors and principals offices.

“She’s not that bad. I showed you mine, now you show me yours. Who are you here with?” Allison wairily points Ray out in the line for popcorn. “Does he go to school with us, I don't recognize him.”

“He does not.” That was the great thing about Ray. They’d all had high hopes for high school (except for Five who was a pessimist, and Luthor who hated doing anything dad wouldn’t approve of even if he was dead) but those hopes had been quickly dashed. Seven kids who had been raised mostly in seclusion by their rich, slightly insane apocalypse prepper father that were smarter than everyone else in some places but hopelessly ill prepared for others, trained in martial art and fluent in several languages did not the most popular kids make. “And that’s why you have to leave.”

For the first time Allison had encountered a person her age who did not know about her weirdness and dysfunctional family. She wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

“Um, I’m not going anywhere. I promised Lila we could see this movie.”

“Wait, what movie?”

They compare tickets. If Allison were religious, she’d believe she’d upset the ruler/rulers of the universe. But she’s not, so instead she just curses. 

“The theater isn’t that small. We can just sit on opposite sides and pretend we don’t know each other.” Diego decides. 

“Um, no. Why don’t you just go somewhere else? There’s a laser tag place right around the corner, I’m sure Lila would love the opportunity to shoot you.” 

“How about you take your boyfriend there? Afraid you’ll embarrass yourself by utterly decimating him?”

Allison seethes. “Just because you are fine being a freak and outcast doesn't mean the rest of us want to be. Go away, Diego.” She gives him a little shove.

He’s a Hargreeves, so of course he shoves back. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I was here first!”

“I don’t care!”

They go back and forth, and normally this would escalate into actual blows and louder voices, but Allsion does  _ not  _ want to make a scene. Diego thankfully matches her aggression level.

“All right fine.” She says eventually, because Ray is finally at the front of the popcorn line. “But remember, we don’t know each other.”

“Deal.”

The movie is good. She spills the popcorn but Ray doesn’t mind that much, and during the third act he reaches over and takes her hand. Afterwards they get hot chocolate and walk around the nearby park to talk about the movie and a thousand other things.

No more siblings pop up and she doesn't throw him over her shoulder when he sneaks up on her when she’s distracted by a man sitting on a bench playing the guitar.

All in all, a pretty successful first date, in Allison’s opinion.

**3.**

The dining room is cold-quiet when Vanya walks in. Not cold in temperature, it feels just like the rest of the house. Not quiet, like nobody is in it. Cold-quiet, meaning a battle of wills is going on right now.

It crosses her mind to turn right around and go back to her room, but she’d come for hot chocolate and she was going to get hot chocolate, even if it meant walking through this.

It’s still going on five minutes later when she emerges with her prize. She heads to the door double time, not wanting to get involved in this, and she’s almost there when- “Vanya.”

So close. “Yeah Five?”

“Don’t drag her into this.” Ben says, and he’s officially her favorite- “Trust me, you’re not going to want an audience when you realize I’m right and you’re wrong.”

Favoritism recalled. Klaus is her favorite. He’s never dragged her into- she takes a peak at one of the many papers scattered on the long dining room table- math. Great, she hates math. “What seems to be the problem here?”

“Ben and I were going over our homework for math and seem to have stumbled upon a discrepancy. He got an answer that is not the same as mine.” Five says in that cold, calm tone he sometimes gets.

Why was it that her brother only had two modes and they were white hot fury or cold calculation? And which was scarier?

“Well, I would offer to do it and see for myself but you two are in the dual credit college level math class right? I wouldn’t know where to start.” It’s true and also very convenient. “How about you both redo the problem and see if you get the same as before?”

Ben smiles at her softly and is about to say something but Five interrupts before her can. “This took half an hour to work out, we’re not doing it again. And we don’t need to, because I have the correct answer.”

All softness vanishes from Ben’s face. “No you don’t because  _ I  _ have the correct answer. Yours makes no sense.”

The cold-quiet is back as the pair resumes their staring contest. Ben is in Vanya’s seat, Five in what used to be their dads, papers and pens and calculators scattered across the whole surface between them. 

Vanya sighs into her hot chocolate. Both of them were stubborn and hard headed enough that this could go on forever. It was already almost nine oclock, but there was a chance that if this wasn’t settled soon, they would still be here when she came down for breakfast. Neither of them would sleep, they’d both be extra grumpy, and Five might actually commit murder tomarrow at school instead of just stabbing someone with a plastc fork. (Mom had  _ not  _ been happy about that.)

She pulls out Allison’s chair and sets her still untouched mug down on one of the few places not covered in papers. She’s given Five’s copy of the textbook as well as both of their notebooks. The pages are identical, the numbers 1-6 with the answers next to them, except for the handwriting and the final answer. 

Finding the correct problem on the page of the textbook, Vanya swallows. She definitely had no clue what it was talking about.  _ Surly that’s not an actual word, it has to be-wait a second.  _

In the upper left hand corner of both their notebooks, under their names, class periods, and date, is the assignment. Page number and problem. “Uh, guys? Number six isn’t on the assignment, this just says one through five.”

That breaks the stare off. They both grab their notebooks back to look for themselves. Ben swears quietly, Five loudly. 

“This is your fault.” Five declares, to which Ben responds, “How could this  _ possibly  _ be  _ my _ fault? You’re the one who-”

Cold-quiet broken and screaming status quo restored, Vanya grabs her hot chocolate and makes her escape while she still can.

  
  


**4.**

His closet door is wide open, his clothes spread thrown everywhere, and the shirt in his hands when she bursts in.

“Klaus mom wants to know- hey! That’s my shirt, I’ve been looking everywhere for it.” Allison darts into the room and snatches the shirt from his hands. “I just asked you last week if you knew where it was.”

“Correction; you asked if I had seen it recently, which I had not. I had not set eyes on this beauty since I snatched it from the laundry room weeks ago and hid it in the back of my closet where I knew you’d never find it.” 

Allison scowls at him, “You know what I meant.”

“I did,” he agrees. “But I played ignorant anyway because I want that shirt. It’s very soft and looks way better on me anyway. Also, give it back because I’m using it today.”

“No.” She says stubbornly and pushes him just hard enough that he topples back onto his unmade bed. He lands on a shoe and grunts.

That’s when she notices his room and how much more of a mess it is than normal. Allison’s eyes narrow. “Are you having a fashion show without me?”

“No.” 

“Then you’re getting ready to go somewhere. Somewhere special if you are going through all this trouble.” Her eyes narrow even more “You’re going on a date!”

“Dang it.” Klaus doesn't even try to deny it. They were all rubbish at lying to each other anyway. He flings an arm over his eyes and declares “Just go away. But leave the shirt.”

The dip of the bed under her weight tells him Allison was ignoring his request, as usual. “Oh come on Klaus. I’ve told you everything about me and Ray from the very beginning. At least tell me who you’re going out  _ with _ .”

He groans and rolls away from her finger nail poking him in his side. Stupid thin bathrbe provided no protection from those talons. “No way. You won’t approve and you’ll be all judgy.”

“Oh come on. It can’t be worse than Diego and Lila, who I’m still convinced is actually crazy. And filled with more homicidal feelings than Five, which was previously assumed to be impossible.”

Klaus actually liked Lila, or had the few times they’d spoken. Diego had taken to eating lunch with her (on the days neither of them had lunch detention) instead of at their table at school after a few rough days when they all tried sitting together, but she’d seemed cool.

“Dave is not crazy.” He declares, and the poking stops.

“Dave? Klaus, tell me you’re not about to go on a date with David Katz, the same guy who hit you in the face that one time you asked him out in that diner a few months ago.” His silence is all the answer she needs. “Klaus, that’s a terrible idea! I want to say the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

He rolls over and buries his face in one of his fluffy pillows so he doesn't have to look his sister in the eye. “That wasn’t his fault or who he is. His stupid homophobic uncle is the one who made him.”

“Yeah, made him punch you in the face.” Allison says. “How do you know this date isn’t some sort of... of  _ trap _ . Like, to get you alone and then ambush you and beat you up. He would totally do that.”

Klaus sits up and twists to meet his sisters eyes, reaches out to grab her by the arms. “And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you! He’s not a bad guy, he was just confused. And if he were going to do that, it would have happened on the first date. Or the second. Definitely not the eighth after we’ve made out in the back alley and the bathroom at school and the movie theater. We’ve made out a lot, is my point.” He unfocuses on his sister, letting the memory wash over him. Dave was a really great kisser…

He’s dragged out of that memory by Allison shaking him. “What? Oh, come on. It’s fine, ask Ben if you must. He likes Dave just fine.”

“Ben? You told Ben before me?” She lets go of his arms and scoots back. “But you always tell me these things first. Always.”

Shit, now he’d hurt her feelings. “I didn’t tell him per se, he just. Well, he has bad timing when it comes to finally taking out the trash.”

“And he approved?” 

“Well, not at first. But then we all got waffles together and they talked about books and I’m kinda scared Dave’ll leave me for Ben now.” Not really. But kinda. But Ben wasn’t into guys. And he might have a crush on that girl from his biology class, so it didn’t matter. “Tell you what, let me borrow that shirt for the evening and after drama club practice Thursday we’ll all go get doughnuts at Gritty’s and you two can meet properly.”

Allison still doesn't look happy about it, but she agrees. “He can’t be a better kisser than Ray though. And his eyes are nowhere as pretty, I’m just saying.”

**5.**

“I saw the sun begin to dim, and felt that winter wind blow cold. A man learns who is there for him when the glitter fades and the- ugh.” Diego stops and opens his eyes. He can't remember what the next line is.

_ The walls won't hold,  _ according to his phone. But he’s not even sure he’s hitting the correct notes since he’s not allowed to take the packet of music out of the school building.

Diego sighs and drops into a chair. The winter concert was a week away and despite his status as the only senior in the school’s choir, he’d been given a spotlight/kind of solo. Mostly because he was one of five boys in the choir, and the only one who really paid attention instead of goofing around.

It’s tempting to call it a night and retreat downstairs. Maybe Mom would make cookies if he offered to help. Cookies sounded really great right now.

But he can’t. There would be time for cookies after he’d memorized his part and could do it in his sleep. He was Diego Hargeeves and he would not fail this, not in front of the whole school during the dress rehearsal Friday afternoon, or his whole family (and kinda girlfriend) Friday night.

“I saw the sun begin- _ What?” _

Vanya blinks at him from the doorway, obviously not expecting him. She’s holding her violin. “Um, I came to practice.”

“Well, do it in your room, I’m already here.”

“I was in my room, then Luthor yelled at me for disturbing him and told me to come up here to practice.” Of course he did. The music room was the only real soundproof room in the whole house, not that it got much use.

“The roof then. Anywhere but here, because I’m here.”

For a second, he thinks he’s won. That Vanya will leave quietly and go find somewhere else to practice for the concert. But then she bites her lip and tilts her head up. That’s her fighting stance.

She might look the most timid of the Hargreeves children, especially to outsiders, but she was still one of them. All of the Hargreeves could hold their own, especially against each other. “No. You’ve been up here since dinner and now it’s my turn.  _ You  _ go practise on the roof.”

Vanya kind of has a point. But he’s not about to back down. And it’s not like they can both use the room at the same time.

If this were one of his brothers, or even a couple of months ago, he might throw out a few insults like  _ it doesn't matter how much you practice anyway since you’re third chair  _ or  _ I guess you have a point, you really do need it a lot more than me at this point. _

But he’s trying to be better, they all are, so instead they both stand where they are and attempt to intimidate the other into leaving. After a minute, Vanya huffs. “Fine then.”

She leaves, and Diego thinks he's won. He returns to facing the wall and visualizes the words, tries to hear the music from the teacher’s piano. “I saw the sun-”

Diego makes it all the way through his solo without messing up the words once, and he’s halfway through the song and doing pretty good (still not 100% but at least during this part there will be others singing too) when the door opens again.

“Vanya I- oh. Mom. Hi.” His sister is back and she brought backup. She’s good, he’ll give her that.

“Hello dear. Your sister here seems to think you’re overworking yourself.” Grace smiles at him in that way that always makes him feel soft and positive and  _ loved. _ It’s so annoying, “How about you take a break and help me make some cookies?”

He can’t disagree. “Okay mom. I’ll be down in just a second.”

Grace nods, touches Vanya affectionately on the shoulder, then vanishes into the dark hallway.

“You will pay for this.” Diego promises Vanya as she sets up one of the music stands.

She ignores him, but there’s a self satisfied smirk on his face that makes his blood boil.

Jokes on her, because Diego chooses to make snickerdoodles. Vanya hates snickerdoodles.

**+1**

His baby sister had not come out of her room in three days, and Luthor was not happy about it.

They might all technically be the same age but it was still agreed that Vanya was the baby of the family, no matter how much she objected to that. She was a little sister to all of them, and seeing her so upset (or rather, hearing. She barely opened the door to let mom in with food but they heard her crying) grated on all of them.

So the third day while Mom and Pogo are out getting groceries, Luthor calls the rest of the Hargreeves kids to the living room for a conference. Diego calls it a war meeting, because they’re going to wage war on whoever did this to her and also because Klaus was not the only overdramatic one in the family. 

“So here’s what we know.” Luther starts off, once everyone is present and as quiet as they’re likely to get. “Three days ago, Vanya comes home from wherever she goes after school when she doesn't come straight home. She doesn't speak to anyone and slams her door loudly. She doesn't come down for breakfast or lunch.

Mom sent Five to check on her, but she refused to let him in and had obviously been crying. Possibly all night. After fifteen hours in her room, she let mom in to give her food. Mom might or might not know the details of why Vanya is upset and if she does, she’s not going to tell.”

“So our objective is to find whoever upset her and kill them slowly and painfully.” Diego concludes, the gleam in his eye telling Luther he’s not joking.

“Um, no. That would be illegal. And we don’t even know it’s a person, it might have been something else.” Luther says. “No, what we first need to do is figure out what is upsetting her then plan from there. Got it?”

Ben, who never really got past his Sherlock Holmes obsession, perks up. “So it’s a mystery!”

It is a mystery. But the thing is, they’re not detectives, no matter how many books Ben had read of procedural cop shows Diego watched. And they didn’t have a lot to go on. After half an hour of wild theories and failed detective work, Luthor decides they need a better plan.

“We’re going to shelve this for a moment and focus on something else: Vanya right now. Getting her out of her room, cheering her up. That stuff.”

Five nods knowingly. “Yes, get her in a position to better provide information on who we’re killing. Would hate to dig a hole that ends up being too small, or too big and having done more work than necessary.”

“I would like to once again bring up the fact that there will be no murder, because that is against the law.” 

Everyone ignores him, but Luther is kind of used to that. He manages to keep control long enough to brainstorm and assign tasks. It’s not so much a testimony to his leadership skills as it is their shared worry and love of Vanya.

Diego and Ben are in charge of snacks, Allison and Klaus supplies, Luthor moves furniture and other heavy things, and Five does the construction. Once they’re satisfied with the set up, Luthor takes Five up to Vanya’s room since he and Diego taught themselves to pick locks years ago.

Vanya’s feeble protests at their arrival are ignored. She doesn't fight him as Luther scoops her up off the bed and carries her to the in house theater.

The normal seats had been pushed off to the sides and in their normal place, Five had constructed an admirable structure from most of the spare linens closet, Klaus’s collection of giant pillows and stuffed animals, and the frames from the tents in the camping supplies that they had from back when Dad would make them do survival courses in the woods for weeks at a time. He’d used the less smelly sleeping bags from those supplies as a bottom layer, covered in Ben’s down comforter they all coveted and regularly tried to steal for extra padding. 

If this were another household, Luthor would say they’d raided the Christmas stuff but since that had never been celebrated here, he wasn’t sure where they’d gotten Christmas lights on such short notice in early November.

Ben and Diego had produced two tea pots filled with hot chocolate and enough popcorn to feed even this small army and it smelled heavenly.

“What is all this?” Vanya asks once he’s deposited her in the middle of the blanket fort.

“Movie night.” Luthor says. The blackout curtains had been drawn in her room and her phone had been on the floor next to the door so Vanya probably didn’t know it wasn’t yet noon. “We’re watching the Princess Bride first, but you get to pick the next one.”

She looks from him to the rest of their siblings, searching for any sign this was a joke or dream. “Okay.” She says eventually.

Even the Princess Bride can’t solve everything, but it certainly does a lot. 

Grace and Pongo find them hours later in the fort, snacks long since devoured and on their fourth movie, snuggled up together under layers of blankets, fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> The accidental math thing has happened to me and my friends more times than I can count


End file.
